Jessica's Third Visit: Light & Leather

Here's yet another insight. I would venture to guess that all photographers start out by observing ambient light & utilizing it. Many excellent photographers, including many of my favorites, never go beyond that -- they see light, they appreciate light, and they record it with great skill.

I think I took a different evolutionary path -- at times, I was not satisfied with the light I found on the scene, or I had to arrange sittings at times when good light simply wasn't available. This was especially true when I worked for a living -- I had to schedule sittings in the evenings, when sunlight was scarce. Over time, I learned to create the light I want using studio lighting & light modifying tools & techniques.

Originally, I looked for good light & placed interesting subjects in it. Nowadays, I think about interesting subjects & figure out interesting ways to light it.

So far this summer, Jessica & I utilized found light, either at the location in Northwest Portland or in my house. I should also mention that during these "natural light" sittings, I utilized the digital camera quite a bit; in fact, the all day photo orgy with Betcee May was totally digital.

So far this sitting, we utilized sunlight streaming through the window. But I was determined to host an "old school" sitting, and an "old school" sitting for me involved studio light & film exposures.

We set up the studio lighting. I chose a gentle approach. I use the big honkin' soft box as the main light & an up light on the off side. I've been experimenting with that up light a bit -- I like the images.

Often times, when using studio lighting, the light on the figure isn't good for lighting the face, and versa vice. I love the look of Jessica's skin, but I don't like it when the up light hits her face.

See? Better.

So far this sitting, I've had more insights than ever. But we are not done -- here's another insight:

I was very, very nervous about photographing Jessica. Now, I'm often excited before a sitting, and an anxious moment isn't unusual, but I felt an increased pressure about this sitting. Make no mistake, Jessica is a talented & experienced model, and she is easy to work with. But over the past several months, we've become good friends. I definitely wanted to show Jessica the best pictures she's ever seen of herself.

I told Jessica that I was especially nervous about this sitting. She asked why, and I told her that it was because we had become good friends, and because of that, I felt an extra bit of pressure to produce.

She observed that it should have been the opposite -- because we were friends, we should have felt more comfortable with each other.

Thinking about that afterwards, I suppose that Jessica felt more comfortable posing for me probably because we have become friends. That, I suppose, is a difference between her & me. She found the optimistic, constructive interpretation.

Of course, she's right. Because we've become friends, this sitting should be more comfortable for us. And it is. I was nervous before we got started, but once we got into it, things worked smoothly.

More than that, Jessica became an active participant. For example, she suggested that we spend a little time photographing her with her leather jacket.

One tangent insight: I find that when I pressure myself to produce works that pleases others, I often fail to produce quality work, but paradoxically, when I don't care about pleasing others & just let things happen, I produce my best work, and that work often exceeds others' expectations.

Normally, I would say that it is a mistake to clothe a model once you've got her nude, but I don't mind in this case.

I certainly don't mind looking at Jessica's face.

Just remember -- everyone is nude under their clothes. That leads to another insight -- Jessica & I think alike a lot. We see a scene, appreciate its light, and imagine a nude figure in it. Further, we see a person & imagine what they look like without clothing. We are thinking about that right now -- we are imagining you without clothes.

Example: ever talk to a telephone operator? Nearly everybody does. But do you imagine that the operator is nude when she or he is talking to you? I do, all the time. Am I sick or what?

When Jessica comes into town to visit me, she usually takes the light rail downtown, and I often meet her at her stop. I am often struck by how, well, normal she looks on the street & how radiant she looks when photographed. On the street, she looks like every college aged young woman you might meet -- she dresses in casual, informal tom boy clothing, she smiles easily, she moves sometimes with confidence & sometimes not.

But Jessica is one of those rare people who simply blossoms when you pay attention. That, too, is an insight. I've found that when you pay attention to people, they react better to you. For example, my butcher's name is Chris, he is a single parent of a 2 year old son, and he enjoys Oakland Raiders games. He looks forward to seeing me, as I do, and somehow I think this translates into slightly better cuts of meat.

Try an experiment of your own.

Okay, here's an incomplete insight.

I've said before that the only reality TV show I like is MTV's "The Real World". Most so-called reality TVs are not real at all -- strangers are pitted against each other & are rewarded for screwing their buddies. Worse, they make things into competitions that shouldn't be -- why should finding a spouse be a competitive entertainment; why should wilderness survival or losing weight be competitive? But The Real World isn't like that at all -- seven young adults are thrown together in a spicy living arrangement with an interesting job, and that's it. We get to watch these young people make the transition from the unconditional love of their families to the more adult relationship of peers. And since these folks tend to drink a lot and hold onto their selfish or romantic ways, there's plenty of drama.

So, here's the incomplete insight: how come I often forget that Jessica is young? She is, in fact, younger than any of this year's participants in The Real World.

Knowing Jessica, I know she is subject to the social tidal forces that all women her age face, including:

Adult relationships
Uncertainty about her place in the world
Uncertainty about how to achieve success with family, friends, career
etc.

And yet, I forget that she's so young. Perhaps that's a back handed compliment -- I do think she is mature beyond her years, but there are times when I am reminded.

It's time to change the setting. Jessica like using a black background. In fact, when she photographed Leona here last winter, her best pictures came when we used the black backdrops. I indulge her.

This sitting concludes with Black Back.